Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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