the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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