i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
