do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
