if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
