My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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