So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
