Don't you send me to vm
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
