After last night, I could never be a politician.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
