btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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