That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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