Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
