hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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