I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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