We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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