Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
