Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i don't like sucking hair
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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