There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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