i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
