The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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