You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You made out with two different species that night
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize