My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
We named our party play list daddy issues
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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