Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
