No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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