how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
