if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
