omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
