i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
