Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"

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(773): View more from Illinois

I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.

(847): View more from Illinois

Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?

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(828): View more from North Carolina

If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?

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(435): View more from Utah

When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics

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(647): View more from Ontario

My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.

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(559): View more from California

I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.

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