We named our party play list daddy issues
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize