Will you blow on my dice?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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