apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i came on her dog
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
