There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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