I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
