Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
as a side note pls kill me
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
