I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Randomize
