We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
