I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
It's Friday. Sex?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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