i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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