Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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