that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
