I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
