I'm drive I can fine osifer
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize