I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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