yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
