I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize