Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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