We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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