u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
third nipple confirmed
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
