I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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