she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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