When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
