In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
