Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize