I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
