I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
