I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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