Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
