and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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