I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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