Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize