Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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