everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think my fart just growled at me.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
