I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
