Do you still have your period?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
