i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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