You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
