You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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