community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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