nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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