It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
