i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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